Valentine’s Day this Sunday evokes a lot of expectations, and in most cases the desired outcome is happiness. However, happiness is really an inside job, as the Dalai Lama XIV expresses so well “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
Did you know that research shows that about half your happiness is the result of a genetic set point? How do I know that? Because I spent years in therapy trying to figure out why I was not happy. As I dug into my past I realized that when I was in my mother’s womb she was in grief from the loss of her son (my brother). Sometimes there are very real reasons for your unhappiness that you really have had no control over.
But don’t despair! It’s also been found if your focus becomes happiness, you can attain your goal, no matter. It seems around 40% of ‘daily happy’ is the result of positive day-to-day behaviors and activities. So I thought it might be a perfect time to share some quick tips on “getting happy”.
One of the most powerful tools I can suggest is “choose to be happy!” Right now, simply declare “I’m going to be happy today!” When thoughts cross your mind that don’t support that declaration say to those thoughts “I’m not interested in you! Today I’m happy!” It may take a lot of repetition initially, less as time goes on, and the reward is well worth it.
Many times we think we’re earning happiness as we wait for a big event (like Valentine’s Day) or we finally get ‘THE job’, or we get to go skiing. However, that’s really only a tiny piece of the happiness available to us, and if we depend on those types of events to be happy, let-down is inevitable and intense. My second tip is to practice gratitude – for everything, even little things – on a daily basis. Often at the end of the day I’ll make a list of at least 10 things I’m grateful for that day. It’s not a bad idea to begin your day the same way.
In my experience, with regard to mood, there is no substitute for a healthy eating plan. In Skinny Gut Diet we have 3 simple rules. We could have named them “Rules for Happiness” – 1) Eat more good fats, like olive oil and avocado; 2) Eat living foods every day – greens and fermented goodies; 3) Eat protein at every meal and snack to reduce carb cravings. As these suggestions become your habits, you’ll notice how happy you feel as your blood sugar balances and inflammation decreases in your body.
I’ve always found movement to be essential to uplift my spirits. There’s simply nothing like the feel-good brain chemicals that are released whenever we decide to move our bodies and get the blood really flowing. I’m not talking marathons here – walking, biking, even housework (with the music on perhaps) can offer both brain and body wellness. And if you can find a spot in nature for your exercise, better still.
And here’s a short list of supplements that research has shown to boost mood and health – vitamin D, selenium, B vitamins, omega-3 oils, St. John’s Wort, SAMe, and my personal favorite, probiotics. I’m so grateful these natural substances are being applauded for their mood sustaining benefits.
Of course, happiness is a personal affair. Please be in touch and let me know what brings you happiness. And please enjoy Sunday, in your own unique Valentine way.